Sri Aurobindo
Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Volume II - Part 2
The experience of the difference between your inner feelings and your surface reactions shows that you are becoming aware of different parts of your nature which each have their own 
character. In fact each human being is composed of different personalities that feel and behave in a different way and his action is determined by the one that happens to be prominent at the time. The one that has no feelings against anyone is either the psychic being or the emotional being in the heart, the one that feels anger and is severe is a part of the external vital nature on the surface. This anger and severity is a wrong form of something that in itself has a value, a certain strength of will and force of action and control in the vital being, without which work cannot be done. What is necessary is to get rid of the anger and to keep the force and firm will along with a developed judgment as to what is the right thing to do in any circumstances. For instance, people can be allowed to do things in their own way when that does not spoil the work, when it is only their way of doing what is necessary to be done; when their way is opposed to the discipline of the work, then they have to be controlled, but it should be done quietly and kindly, not with anger. Very often, if one has developed a silent power of putting the Mother’s force on the work with one’s own will as instrument, that by itself may be sufficient without having to say anything as the person changes his way of himself as if by his own initiative.