Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 2. 1935

Fragment ID: 17238

1935

What is the present stage which has deprived me of all my peace and joy? I feel no interest for the sadhana or even for the outer work. Whatever help and protection the Mother sends me stops before it can enter into me. What is the reason for all that?

The reason is quite clear from what you write. There is something in the consciousness that wanted the letters and answers not simply for the help in sadhana but as a personal satisfaction with egoistic elements in it. Also it wanted nice, pleasing and elaborate answers. All that is the usual wrong attitude of the vital which is the stumbling-block for so many sadhaks and prevents true psychic love from developing, replacing it by the vital kind full of demand, ego, jealousy, revolt etc. and it has been the ruin of some. All that you had thrown out of the higher parts and quieted it elsewhere, but it remained sticking somewhere and when correspondence was suspended, the hostile forces took advantage of the fact that you were not allowed to write every day as before to raise up these feelings and you did not repel them with sufficient force to put an end to the attack. Hence they continue.