Sri Aurobindo
Letters of Sri Aurobindo
4. The Mother in the Life of the Ashram
Fragment ID: 19976
If one does not take care of one’s ego from the beginning, it may develop into a strong spiritual ego which says, “I am progressing wonderfully; the Grace is with me. I am the Mother’s instrument more than others.” It may demand that the Mother show some special Grace to it. This ego wants to show others that “Mother loves me more than all of you”, and it wants a physical manifestation of her love.
You are quite right. It is the ego that wants the satisfaction of being the first or specially singled out. It is this egoistic vital demand with all its consequent revolts and disturbances that made it necessary for Mother to limit the physical manifestation of nearness to a minimum.
17 April 1935