Sri Aurobindo
Letters on Himself and the Ashram
The Complete Works of Sri Aurobindo. Volume 35
Sadhana in the Ashram
Personal Difficulties and Progress in Yoga [6]
All I want to know is whether the whole of my being wants God or not. I am always saying, “I have come here to attain God.” But perhaps this is just self-deception.
I have already answered your question. You came because
your soul was moved to seek the Divine. That some part of your vital has strong
attachments to the people you left behind, is a fact, but it does not make your
soul’s seeking unreal. If the presence and persistence of vital difficulties
were to prove that a sadhak is “unfit” and has no chance, then only one or two
in the Asram — and perhaps not even they — would survive the test. The feeling
of dryness and not being “able to aspire” is also no proof. Every sadhak gets
periods and even long periods of such emptiness. I could point to some who are
considered among the most “advanced” sadhaks and yet are not free yet altogether
from the family instinct. It is therefore quite unreasonable to be upset because
these reactions still linger in you. These reactions come and go, but the need
of the soul is permanent, even when covered up
and silent, and will always stay and reemerge.
24 June 1935