indomitable, and: “Enough waiting, enough shilly-shallying, enough vacillating: IT IS TIME.”The Mother
Agenda
Volume 3
June 23, 1962
One or two days ago, I am not sure when, but anyway after our last meeting, suddenly, without thinking about it or wishing it or anything (I was walking or doing something or other), I suddenly became, or saw, a tall being, all white, with a kind of halberd in its hand and an expression of iron will (gesture as if clenching of steel). And it seemed as if the world were being told: “Enough shilly-shallying, enough wavering, now it is time: the thing must be done.”
And the body's activities hadn't the least importance; whatever I did, that remained. I was seeing that tall being from above, like a great transformative power in the vital. A huge being, very calm and powerful – with no violence in it of course, but utterly indomitable, and: “Enough waiting, enough shilly-shallying, enough vacillating: IT IS TIME.”
It lasted more than an hour – oh, at least two hours. The body was in that experience, but I was going on as always with what I had to do while that being was there. I am telling you this because suddenly, in the midst of it all, I remembered you: “Why, he wants to see!” So I told that being, “Go show yourself to Satprem, show him you are here.”
I wondered if you saw anything....
?
It lasted a long time, but I don't remember exactly when it was. Part of it happened while I was walking (I walk at five in the morning and five in the evening). When I started walking it was there and it lasted for a long time afterwards – whether morning or evening I don't remember.
In the morning – every morning, as I walk – I concentrate on you in the hope that you will remember your nights and have an experience.
And it stayed put, in the sense that all sorts of things could go on, but there it remained, at the borders of the terrestrial world, like a declaration from the Supreme – a very tall being.
All white, luminous, luminous – resplendent! And with a kind of halberd and, oh, a very determined air: “Enough shilly-shallying, no more vacillating, it is time.”
“Go find Satprem,” I said. “Show yourself to him.”
You didn't see anything?
All sorts of things are going on....
All right.
Sujata had a dream last night.
Ah!
If you like, I'll read what she noted down: “I am in Pavitra's office, standing on the carpet next to his table. I raise my eyes and look down the corridor. It is empty. Then suddenly, all the way at the other end, next to her bathroom, I see Mother appear. She is so tiny, my dear little Mother! She starts towards the office where I am. She leaves the boudoir behind on her right, keeps coming forward, passes by the big window with the birds and the pink vases on her left. And she is growing. With each step she grows taller. One after the other, she goes by her chair, the door to the stairway, my lab, and Mother continues to grow. Then the door to Pavitra's room, the door to the terrace, and Mother comes to the office. She crosses the threshold: her head almost touches the top of the door. Mother comes in. She is so tall! Her head now touches the ceiling.2 Standing, I barely come to her knees! Something in me is staggered before that sublime height. I prostrate myself.”
(After a silence) I see her quite frequently at night....
(silence)
There is a whole range of things from the subconscient (vital and physical subconscient)... quite new, things I didn't have before. It isn't my subconscient, it's much more general, and it comes with what are practically revelations; I mean I suddenly see certain things concerning people (people I know extremely well, whose inner beings I know very well) and I get a lot of surprises: “Well! So that was there!” People, people... lots of people. I can't say I find it terribly interesting (!) but I am clearly meant to know about it. Not that I am seeking to see or know (my focus is rather on preparing the body and making it receptive; that's what I am actively doing), but what probably happens is that, in my contemplation, I suddenly exteriorize (or something of the sort) and then I see all kinds of things. But I DON'T sleep, you see (I don't know how to explain it).... I go from a state of conscious concentration to a more passive state in which I am made to take part in all kinds of scenes and visions, involving many people and many things, as if to complete my knowledge. Some of these visions are amusing, new and interesting, and I don't know, but I suspect
Sri Aurobindo has something to do with it, because there's such a sense of humor running through it all! (Mother laughs) Things that make me laugh, comical things... due mainly to the tremendous earnestness with which people take the most unimportant things; yes, the disproportionate importance people give to absolutely unimportant events!
(silence)
Last night something like a big festival was being prepared, I don't know where... maybe at the Ashram (a lot of Ashram people were there) but perhaps not – the festival was of the whole earth, and everybody was dressed up in white lace! Of course it was profoundly ridiculous! But it was all taken very seriously, it was very important.
What did the white lace represent?... It was very important! And oh, the details! They were really funny.
(silence)
But last night too, I noticed I was very tall – I am generally very tall. Tall and strong.
Voilà.
1 Satprem had not “seen” anything, but during his japa he suddenly had the “impression” of a tall warrior standing next to him; as it was only an “impression” he attached no importance to it. What he wanted was to see, just as one sees a table or a chair.
2 About 15 feet high.